50, Assisted reproductive technology, Attachment parenting, birth parents, Center for Women's Reproductive Care at Columbia, CWRC, donor coordinator, donor eggs, egg donation, embryo transfer, Family, fertilization, In vitro fertilisation, Insurance, IVF, New York City, older moms, Parenting, Pregnancy, pregnant
95% of statistics are 75% made up
Thanks to my pal Rob K. for the title of this post, and I totally made the numbers up, by the way. Because this is a blog and not a <heavy sarcasm>highly respected news organization like Fox News, which assiduously checks facts and figures before reporting</heavy sarcasm>, I can say whatever I like to fit my theme. (Thanks Lara FW for demonstrating the proper usage of the sarcasm tag on FB last week. You’ll notice I totally
ripped you off paid homage to your cleverness.)
Remember that stupid study about women over 40 having a greater chance of being shot by terrorists than married for the first time? It was skewed and inaccurate because it didn’t account for women who chose not to marry or who were in committed partnership/marriages not (yet) recognized by the state. And yet, as I walked towards the judge ( I was 48) with my husband-to-be, I did think, “Wouldn’t it be funny if a terrorist shot me right now?” Funny, Shakespearean funny, not funny, LOL funny.
But really, what are the odds of meeting someone (i.e., a 45-year-old man whom you’d want to date more than once, let alone marry) at age 45 with whom you’d go on to have a baby? That study would probably say it’s more likely that you’d be shot by a terrorist as lightning strikes the winning Lotto ticket you’re holding, right?
And yet, here we three are.
Statistically, the chances of getting pregnant without assistance for the first time in your late 40s are nearly non-existent. (Notice the exhaustive research that went into that last sentence. I guess I could look up and link to studies that offer hard numbers on the odds, but it’s Friday and I’m
Fox News-ish over it.) And yet, when I called my insurance company in 2008 to get pre-authorization for IVF, they told me I had to “try for a year on my own” before seeking fertility treatment. I really wished I had asked at the time, “Can my husband help too, or do I have to be totally on my own?” I was just too shocked to come up with a zinger then.
During the three years from that first phone call to F’s birth, I had countless run-ins with the insurance company. I learned a very valuable lesson: Never take “no” for the final answer. Keep calling and calling and writing and going over heads until you get the answer you want.
So, that’s my post about beating the odds. And speaking of long shots, we plan to honor our two greatest presidents this weekend by pushing bills with their faces on them into slot machines. Have a great President’s Day weekend!
Next time: I just don’t know, any suggestions? Anything you’d like to ask me?
© Copyright 2013 Grayhairedmom.com