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We Meant HIS Underwear!

August 14, 2014
Logo by Christine Hepner

I’ve been a very bad blogger. So, in that spirit, here’s my entry for the “I’m Such a Messed-Up Mommy” award…

As I cleaned up F’s cubicle at his school this afternoon, what do I find? Underwear. Which is normal since you’re supposed to stock you child’s cubicle with extras of everything—clothes, shoes, underwear—in case of accidents.

Only problem? Not his underwear. MY underwear. About three pairs of it (along with some socks). And not just any underwear, of course. Ratty, ugly, stretched-out old granny panties. Ones that I should have thrown out a long time ago, but kept around in case I hit a long laundry cycle or something.

I know how it happened. I remember shoving a bunch of clean laundry in a canvas shopping bag one morning in the laundry room during the normal mad rush to get F to school on time. It was a Monday morning, so in addition to his daily lunch and sippy cup, he needed his freshly laundered blankie and sheets, socks, underwear, change of clothes, bathing suit, and sandals packed up and placed in his cubicle for the week. I also had to haul my laptop and purse, because as soon as I dropped him off and made sure his cubicle was stocked, I was jumping on a train to work. When I realized that I had more than just his stuff in the dryer that morning, I had a choice: walk back up 4 flights of stairs with him, slowly, patiently, and put my granny panties in the dresser where they belonged or shove them in the bottom of the canvas bag and take them with me. And because of my new job, I have about one brain cell left for processing any new information, so of course, I totally forgot to take my laundry out of the bag when I got to school.

I wish I could say this happened this week, and it’s only been a couple of days that the staff of F’s school has had to deal with my underwear in his cubicle, but sadly, it must be weeks or even months. I just can’t remember. I do know I’ve been wondering where the hell all my underwear went.

I also wish I could say this is a random anomaly, but having my crap mostly together is a relatively new development. (See most of my previous posts…) And it occurs to me that this might have been much worse…I could have arrived at school at pick-up time to find F wearing a pair of my gigantic granny panties …

The only thing getting me through the shame is knowing that tomorrow is F’s last day at his school, and I probably won’t ever have to face any of those teachers again.

He does start a new school after Labor Day. And I know I’ll be a completely different mommy by then. Organized, polished, or at least so help me, with much nicer underwear.

 Next Time: Finding a Life Balance

© Copyright 2014

Congrats to Leilani and Salem!



  1. oops, anyway…this blankie is a fleece that you must have dryer sheets to keep the powerful static electricity at bay. I am not sure when I ran out of them but as we sat on the couch to snuggle one night and I realized that there was my favorite lacy blue thong under where firmly attached to “blankie’s” static cling. God knows how many places my son must have drug that thing around with my thong attached to it!


  2. I love it! I might add that and I hope it makes you feel better, my 2 and a half year old has a blankie that he takes EVERYWHERE


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