More sex and cheating pregnant women!

You are probably wise to my tricks by now and realize that this post will have nothing to do with sex or pregnant women who cheat. It’s only a ploy to get more clicks. I promised in my last post, Let’s talk about sex, baby, to reveal the number of hits that I got just because sex was mentioned in the title. Here we go:

• I had 4 times the number of hits of any other post, except for the cheating pregnant women post.
• I moved up 4 spots on Top Mommy Blogs overnight! I was number 26 “overall” and only 1 spot away from the “magic” number of 25. Numbers 1 through 25 appear on the front page of the Top Mommy Blogs web page and apparently I’m competitive enough to do almost anything, even to sink as low as to gratuitously use the word sex in my title, to get to number 25. Those of you who know me well will not be at all shocked.
• Only one reader was brave enough to stand up and accept the “pervert” label, and good on ya, schmizo!

I am still completely amazed at the number of hits I get on the post The seven-month itch, or why pregnant women cheat, which has absolutely nothing to do with extra-marital affairs at all. (And just to make it perfectly clear, I never have nor would I ever cheat. All other men on Earth stopped existing the moment I met my husband. To me, he is George Clooney and the statue of David all rolled into one. That sound you hear, by the way, is that of his colleagues Samantha, Angela, Julio, and Wayne, if they are reading, throwing up a little in their respective mouths while simultaneously roaring with laughter. But there you have it, he is the perfect man in my eyes. But George C., if you are reading this, you could still take your best shot…..).

I thought it might be funny to reveal the things people type into google and other search engines that land them on my blog. Then I thought I’d wrap up by shouting out to a bunch of my most loyal followers. Because, I, am, totally, shameless.

So, beside the number one search term, pregnant women who cheat, gray haired mom, moms with gray hair, and gray mom lead the pack as the most searched-for phrases. There are some very odd variations, including: hairy moms (I really don’t want to know why or what this person was searching for) and graybeard’s mom (I’m baffled and I really hope it isn’t pornographic). Sadly, there was one search that pierced my heart a little: I’m embarrassed by my mom’s gray hair. I know it can’t be my son since he hasn’t mastered the Internet yet, but it made me think, “soon enough….” Of course, he’ll have so much to be embarrassed about by then, my gray hair might not even rank.

The next set of search words make sense: pregnant in my 50s, 50 and pregnant, and other variations including, could you say pregnant on TV in the 50s. Interesting question. I wasn’t alive in the 50s, anyone out there have an answer? I know Lucy and Ricky couldn’t sleep in the same bed, but that might have been the 60s and not the 50s.

Here’s an interesting one that I can answer. Someone searched for Why was Ed Sullivan upset by Come On, Baby, Light My Fire? It was the lyric, Girl, we couldn’t get much higher, that upset the censors. They thought it was a drug reference. That the entire song was a plea by Jim Morrison for every woman in America to come on and get him off didn’t seem to bother the censors as much as a supposed marijuana reference.

My all-time favorite, though, has to be why did you take that photo of that bitch. I have no idea why that search landed on my blog. I don’t remember posting anything about a photo of a bitch, unless maybe google assumed by “that bitch” they were searching for “Queen Elizabeth II,” and then yes indeed, I did post a picture of “that bitch.”

And now to the shameless shout-outs:

Bernadette! Because you told me you love when you see that you made the blog! Diane G, thank you for all your encouragement and clicking!

And Colleen! Thank you for everything including the AWESOME Elmo cake for my son’s birthday:

Amazing and delicious!

Next time: Some more random musings to avoid talking about the fact that my baby is now a toddler!

Thanks for following and reading! I’d love to hear your story of IVF. Please leave your comments below.

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